人性的丑陋。。。

Had not been sleeping well recently, trying to sleep early at 12mn, but in the end i woke up at 5AM, and just could not go back to sleep again. My dark circles were damn obvious, went to tool passport photos for my Suzhou VISA application, i got a shock out of my life when the photo were printed out. My face was like... i had been tortured b4 i took the photos. My eyes, damn ugly, my smile, very fake, just cannot make it la... Must take again... Like a god damn criminal face lo! TMD!!!!

I told xiao wan i had not been sleeping well, she asked me, you have something in your mind? I paused for a while and think, maybe bah... Been thinking alot of things actually...

We, humans are such a scary creatures... For the past 15 years, i can really say i had seen alot of friends showed their ugly side. Since primary school, people starts to gossip and create a "hu-ha" among classmates, friends turns enemies... goes around stabbing people on the back, appears to be a good friend of yours, but when you turn your back, things changed... Just like some dramas, those scheme roles, everytime they will give the evil smile when other people still thinks that he or she was such a good person.

Money was another main "tool" that turn friends into enemies, once we called each other "brothers", i helped when they need money to return debts, when i ask to return the money, they seems like left the earth and stayed on the moon, or other planets except earth. Even untill now, they can actually come back to earth and call me to borrow some money, dun understand, they think im someone who can forgive and forget what had they done to me in the past and can still borrow them money or they thought i totally forget or lost my memories. I wish to lose alot of memories, but sorry lo, FIY, i got a fucking good memories, esp to those who had let me down, left me all alone to clean up the mess, people who hurt me in any way, looked down on me, i remembered very well...

I believe i will still meet alot other kinds of people. I really need to learn from my friends how to be more straight forward, how to “一针见血”. I myself had been very fake, i know i dislike this person but i still can talk around, joke around with him or her... Maybe from now on, if you realize i dun talk to you, din respond to you, you should know, you are not even friends to me...

"How do you feel when you betray your friends?"
Can someone tell me?